Ok so I’m online dating – not with much success I should add.
I’ve tried a few dating sites and I’ve noticed that there are particular set of questions Indian guys seem to ask off the bat (I’m talking a few messages into a conversation here). And when I read these questions, I can’t help but roll my eyes and think “why is this relevant right now?” – and then I remind myself this is one of the many highlights of dating as British-Asian female.
So without further adieu here are some questions that I’m pretty tired of answering:
1. Do you drink?
Drink what? Coffee, tea, lemonade? Oh wait, you mean alcohol…
Why is this one of the first questions that comes to mind early on in a conversation? A lot of dating sites actually have the option to show whether you drink or smoke – which I always fill out, so either you’re not reading or you want to hear it from the horse’s mouth. Sadly, due to the ongoing prevalence of double standards in the Asian community, apparently some folks think it’s still acceptable for a man to drink but not a woman.
I mean if you’re teetotal and want a partner who is the same, I get it; or if it’s a religious thing, I understand that it might be a deal breaker straight off the bat. But usually the guys who ask are ‘social’ or ‘regular’ drinkers. What gives guys?
2. What do your parents do for a living?
Surely you should be more interested in what I do?
3. Do you have Instagram?
3a. Do you have Facebook?
3c. Are you even real?
No, I’m a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle.
Since when did having social media verify your existence as a human being? I recently spoke to a guy who was convinced I was a Catfish based on my lack of social media. I suppose sending him the laughing emoji face at the end of our conversation probably didn’t work in my favour. I’m sure the social media grilling isn’t exclusive to Indian guys when online dating, but people in general.
4. What did you study?
I mean I enjoyed my degree don’t get me wrong – but if you just want to know whether I studied Accountancy and Finance – sorry but no, I didn’t. And no I didn’t study Medicine either – queue disappoint in the eyes of the British-Asian community.
5. Do you eat meat?
Ok so out of all of the above, I actually don’t mind this question – but it’s surprising how often and quickly it comes up – and how quickly it’s followed up with “do any of your family eat meat?” I’m a vegetarian (who is considering becoming a vegan). It’s not a deal breaker for me if my partner eats meat, but perhaps having a vegetarian or vegan partner might be a deal breaker for them? I’m not quite sure with this one!