I recently went on an ‘arranged’ first date. By ‘arranged’, I mean that we were set-up by a mutual friend of our parents, to be specific, an aunty at the Gurudwara (Sikh temple), who has a a bit of a reputation for being a local matchmaker. This aunty was more than ready to vouch for the apparent good nature of this guy, and his seriousness about settling down. My mum, being ever keen to get me married off, was pretty optimistic about this guy based on his glowing recommendation.
I’m open minded about how I meet my future partner, whether it’s online, offline through a go-between, or by sheer bloomin’ chance – my main priority is to meet the right guy, how we meet is irrelevant. So, this guy dropped me a message on WhatsApp and we began chatting. He seemed nice enough, but in terms of attraction, I can’t say I was initially attracted to him based on his picture. That said, I think meeting face-to-face is always best, after all, a photo isn’t always an accurate reflection right? We arranged our first date at Starbucks. I’ve been on a few first dates at this Starbucks now, actually come to think of it, maybe I should avoid this Starbucks in future? Nothing good ever seems to come of dates here!
When we met, he seemed nice, but a tad arrogant. I wasn’t attracted to him, but the conversation seemed to flow reasonably well. We had a few things in common, but I think he was a little too traditional and religious for my liking. Actually when it comes to religion, he was a quite unique. He recently did a u-turn from being super religious, he’d gone from wearing a turban and taking Amrit (basically being baptised), to being a clean-shaven carnivore. He’d basically undone the Sikh version of a baptism. This was a bit of a red flag, OK, it was a major red-flag for me. His reasoning behind doing a religious 360 was vague, it sounded like he’d just lost interest. I’m not sure how you’d go from one extreme to another like that? The whole thing sounded a tad sketchy. Although I identify myself as a Sikh, I wouldn’t say am very religious. And I’d like to find someone quite similar to myself in that respect.
After we’d finished our drinks, he suggested going for a meal. And not one to turn down a food invitation, I agreed. Dinner went well, although I got the impression there was some disconnect on his end. Date done, we parted ways. A few days later he sent me a bit of a fluffy message, saying he got the impression I might not be interested and if I wanted to leave it at that, he’d understand. Now, I don’t know what had given him that impression, in fact I was quite happy to meet again, and that’s what I said (despite having some reservations). Little did I know that he was the uninterested party.
So we set up another date, which he then cancelled. Apparently he needed to visit a sick relative, his message sounded a bit shady; I mean if it’s true, fair enough, but something seemed a bit off. We talked about rescheduling for a bit over WhatsApp, until one evening, I received a message out of the blue saying he was putting his partner search on hold.
Another time waster bites the dust.
Perhaps he was being pushed by his parents to go on the date? Or perhaps, he just wasn’t interested? Whatever the reason, I don’t really care. What I do care about though, is the fact this guy drained my time. If only dating were more straightforward.